she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
