I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
