I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
