I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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