To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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