ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
