I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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