Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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