I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
