he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
