If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
