My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
