Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
