I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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