Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
