yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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