I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
