My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
