Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
