Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize