I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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