her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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