You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
