I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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