I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
