Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize