I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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