i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
