From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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