Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
