he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
