next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
