New invention idea: vibrating tampons
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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