i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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