I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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