found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
