yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
