she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and she was petting her beer can
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
