Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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