I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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