Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
