Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
only you would photoshop your dick
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
