Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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