im having a threesome with these popsicles
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
