Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
