is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
