woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
