I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
