Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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