soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
