It's Friday. Sex?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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