I CAN MOONWALK!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
