walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize