Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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