i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Alive.
So much puke
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
