so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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