I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
