did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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