my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
