The beer is more important than you right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize