so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
