Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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(212): View more from New York

It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.

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(626): View more from California

What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

(1-626): View more from California

You have mice?

(626): View more from California

no why?

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(850): View more from Florida

ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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(519): View more from Ontario

Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.

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(813): View more from Florida

Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?

(203): View more from Connecticut

everyone's regretting their thursdays.

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(+49): View more from Germany

he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Your cat ate my taco.

(480): View more from Arizona

. . . I don't have a cat?

(602): View more from Arizona

It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.

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