Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
