Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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