oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
