Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
