I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
