Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are the jesus of drinking
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
