ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
