I hate your face
This is not my ceiling
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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