No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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