No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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