No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
