That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
