at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize